They say “fail to plan, plan to fail” but what if we have a plan and the plan doesn’t go according to plan… One may say, what’s the point?? We all prefer that things go according to plan so that we might enjoy our lives without being challenged or tested beyond our limits but if we take a step back and think, what kind of life that would be?
Is that what we really want? A life that is predictable? Unfortunately (but fortunately), that’s unlikely that things will always go according to plan. It is up to us to see the beauty in the twists and turns of life.
No matter what happens, we can discipline ourselves to see the beauty in each and every situation. If we are open enough to self discovery, we can explore how imperfection to our plan actually evolved perfectly, in so many ways, and led to incredible growth.
It is up to change our perspective and be disciplined enough to truly control our thoughts and make any and all situations beautiful.
There are so many things out of our control however our thoughts are our own. Just like we train our muscles, we can training our brain to see a deeper love and acceptance for what is happening.
A concept that resonates deeply with me is Amor Fati. It is the idea that things are happening as they are suppose to, as “imperfect” as they may seem.
I just fell in love with the concept because this is exactly how I choose to live my life. If you feel that everything happens for a purpose or a reason, and that it is up to us to see the deeper meaning of what is happening (or not happening. It can quickly turn sadness and question into acceptance and more than acceptance, opportunity.
We may not have a choice or understand how things happen or why but we always have the choice of how we see any situation and how we choose to take action (or not).
We can have pity and look at something and ask, “Why me?” or choose to love our fate and see the beauty in it and how any situation leads to an improved self.
Amor Fati causes us to say: We will put our energies and emotions into what truly matters, if this is our fate, we must love it and learn to be “happy”. Happiness is a choice and the choice is ours.
The goal is:
Not: I’m okay with this.
Not: I think I feel good about this.
But: I feel great about it. Because if it happened, then it was meant to happen, and I am glad that it did when it did because it was meant to happen this way. I would not be the same person if it didn’t happen and so I am going to make the best of it.
And proceed to do exactly that.
Yes, it’s a little unnatural to love things we never wanted to happen but what other, worse adversities might this one be saving us from? What might we learn from this unchosen experience? What B’lessons can we take from this experience? What good, equally unexpected events might result from it? We know that in retrospect we often look back at difficult times and understand but until then we must learn to accept our fate and fall in love with whatever is meant to be.
I encourage you to take a look at something you may be resenting or questioning. Maybe this is something you have been harboring for years. Something you may be telling yourself “why did this happen to me”, “If I would have done XYZ then … “. Stop right there. Trust that there is a reason you didn’t do XYZ or a reason you did XYZ but things worked out differently than planned.
Change your perspective and see all the beauty that came from the situation. There is so much, if you only take the time to reflect and see things differently. It may seem like a hard lesson or that it is hard to see things any other way but trust me, if you do, it will change your life.
Just like we train our bodies to be the strongest possible, we can train our brains the same. Similar to our muscle memory, over time our way of thinking will become just how we think. How we shift our perspective will become who we are and what we do.
Imagine this scenario:
PLAN- I really want this dream job so I am going to plan to study for the test, write index cards I use to test myself with and video record myself on interview questions. All such a perfect plan that one would think would lead to the outcome desired- work hard = get dream job.
REALITY- You don’t get the job.
OLD SELF: Poor me, How did I not get that job? Was I not good enough? Why didn’t they like me? I suck! If I would have studied longer… Not only are these questions coming up but they are harbored within you for days, months even years. You dwell on the fact that you lost your opportunity to live out your dreams.
NEW SELF: I gave my all, I did my best and that is all I can do. I know I did everything I could to show up and present my best self and that is all I could do. The outcome was out of my control. There is another bigger and better opportunity waiting for me. I may not know what yet but some day (soon), I will look back and be so grateful that I didn’t get that “dream” job.
REALITY: Months later you are in a coffee shop and start talking to someone who is looking for help running their company. Better than your “dream job”, this job is your true DREAM job. Seems so crazy but by the end of your coffee visit, you scored the job! No formal interview, hiring process- it was meant to be, you were hired!
Ahhh you see how things all worked out. Your fate had other plans for you and plans that were BIGGER and BETTER than you had envisioned. This is Amor Fati.
There is ALWAYS good that comes from every plan that takes on a new plan. Always!! 💫Some would call it adversity while I believe it is opportunity coming at us in a different form. Adversity (or opportunity) is inevitable. There is NO bad in any situation because it brings so much strength, character, bravery and depth. 💫
Sometimes when we are deep in the moment of a pivot, it can be hard to see but when you take a step back, everything becomes crystal clear and actually kind of unbelievable how the change of plans leads to so much greatness and growth. 💫
Whatever you may be experiencing, use that shift as a means to harden your shell, improve, transform and open your arms to the beauty of the fact that there is so much beyond our control however our perspective is not one of them… ♥️💫