How are you feeling as the holidays are approaching rapidly… Do you feel excited or are you feeling overwhelmed and a touch of anxiety, as you are preparing for the new year and gathering last minute gifts and dinner plans. We all have busy lives and with the end of the year approaching, life seems to get even busier, if that is even possible!? Sometimes, the end of the year can create anxiety as we may go off our routines, enabling us to get everything accomplished that we set out to accomplish in the current year. What are a few ways we can manage this time of year to create less stress and more happiness in our lives.
Think about when we were children we woke up on a holiday morning so excited. We were excited to see if Santa ate his cookies and what presents he left under the tree! We were excited for a day of good food, treats and fun. Now as adults it is common to have a different mindset, feeling pressure or expectations to fulfill others needs. Sometimes the holidays can bring upon stress or a feeling like you have to do certain things because that is just what you do. How many feel the need to get everyone in your lives gifts? Is this expected? It is times to remember what the holidays are all about!
Don’t let the emotional overload, created from our own expectations of ourselves, what we expect from others, or what we believe others expect from us get in the way of the joys of the holiday season!
By learning how to change our perceptions of those expectations, we can take control, enjoy the holidays and be grateful for what we have.
First, change the expectations you have of yourself:
Parties to go to and you want to look good? Do not judge yourself! Love who you are! Be happy with you and exude confidence. Everyone is just happy to see you, regardless of how you look in that holiday dress. Avoid overeating and over drinking, just because it is the holiday season. Be sure to enjoy yourself, within reason, but do not over do it. On another note, do not avoid the festivities because of your fear of food. Make your smart choices and know that the following day you are right back on!
Second, change the expectation you have of others:
Your expectations truly bring meaning to the saying, “Expectation breeds disappointment.” You may expect cards, presents, better presents, attention or a bonus at work. We have all sorts of expectations, but the truth is you have no control over what other people will or will not do. Nothing can ever live up to the expectations you create, but when you don’t expect, everything is special and nothing is a disappointment.
This kind of expectation you can make: if you’re traveling expect it to take longer, be crowded and test your patience. Unfortunately, this is the one expectation that works no matter what. If it comes true, you are ready for it. If things go smooth, you’ll be happy. You can’t lose when you expect some obstacles. Expect the worst, hope for the best…
Third, change the expectations you believe others have of you:
Realize that holidays are about the spirit. Give only what you can afford. Write cards, and enjoy free activities. Don’t get into debt or stress yourself out because of what you think others are expecting of you. If you feel you have too much to do.. Make lists and prioritize. Do your best, but the holiday is not about what you give, what you receive, or the perfect party. It’s about being with others, so enjoy!
Do not escape stress with food and alcohol.
The time of year makes it easy. We tend to tell ourselves it’s ok to gain weight and have a few drinks. Enjoying yourself is great, and I hope you do. There is a difference between enjoyment and going too far. So eat, but don’t overeat to where you will regret it. Enjoy your holidays and feel good about your choices, balance and moderation is KEY!
Remember the holidays are about friends, family, love, joy, and spending quaality time with those you love!!
Don’t let this time of year stress you out but rather allow you to destress and focus on everything you have in your life!
Happy Holidays!
Thanks for these tips and for bringing me back down to earth. I am struggling this holiday season mostly with the third scenario (expectations i believe others have of me). There is always this constant feeling i have of giving the right gift, the right amount of gifts, spending equivalent amounts on each person, etc, etc. It’s very bitter sweet because I love giving gifts but at the same time I have tried to change my outlook on monetary things. I’ve changed a lot this year – for example i don’t spend money like i used to and i really only try to buy things when i need them. I spent the past 3 years donating thousands of dollars of clothing and household items – this really opened my eyes and the recent economy has done this too. I am somewhat grateful for this because i truly do believe that family, friendship, and non monetary things are what’s really important in this life. But i need to remember this and your post has brought me back to reality.
On a second note – i love the first tip – change your expecation of yourself. There has been so many times where I was worried about looking too fat or not right during the holidays and the funny thing is – nobody cares! it truely is how you feel about yourself. Have you ever seen someone who is slightly overweight but extremely confident and happy – i love people like this – because you can tell they love who they are and because of that they are so positive and fun to be around and i don’t ever think anything bad about them.
Merry Christmas
You are so welcome and you are SO normal!! I hear you on the “expectations”. this is how I feel to and that is why I wrote the article. I am not a “gift” type person so the whole idea of buying gifts just to buy gifts is not me but at the same time, I don’t want to lose the tradition of the holidays. Having family and eventually kids it is important to keep some tradition. I hear you Jenn!!! So many of my family has decided to come together, pick names and only buy gifts for that person. That seems to be fare and then you can spend more time on the gift you give to that person. I love sentimental thoughts and gifts that are necessary! I would much rather put thought and sentiment into a gift than to go out and spend money on a gift that is just a material object, just to fullfill that gift! I think this is a great idea!
I am right there with you Jenn, I am bitter sweet too because I am the same way… I love giving gifts but at the same time I have tried to change my outlook on monetary things. Ever since I lost my grandmother, I have changed, similar to you. I focus more on family, what is important and quality of life! Just like you, I don’t spend money like i used to and i really only try to buy things when i need them. I have never been a spender and always been frugal but at the same time now I am more so!! I reflect on this all the time. Having the loss of a dear grandmother and the economy, has really brought me back to the importance of what matters… family, friendship, and NOT monetary things that DON’T make a difference in who YOU ARE.
So much of life is based on expectations of ourselves and others… Seriously that is such a good point Jenn… you are seriously a mini me!!! I completely agree!!! That is what I think about all the time. That is why you have to do things for yourself and not others. Hence why I always stress competing for YOU and no one else because at the end of the day, YOU are the one that has to live with yourself. You win a show, everyone congratulates you and the next day… no one cares!! This is HUGE!! That is why I am all about balance and doing things for you regardless of everyone else because in reality, you nailed it…. No one cares. They all go on with their lives. Think about this… You give up so much trying to meet other peoples expectations. Let’s use a show for an example. You work hard, give up so much, go to the show, present what you think others want, You win or you don’t win,… the next day, no one cares…. Yet look at what you gave up. If you do it for yourself you didn’t give up anything but if you are doing it for someone else, you may have given up so much for nothing!!!
Jenn, You are so right on… I know those people who have a little extra weight or maybe aren’t the prettiest of the bunch but if they walk with confidence and are happy with who they are, they are SO beautiful and you see them for your beauty and not flaws!
I use your analogy in my judging. I always tell the girls how important presentation is and if you are confident, even if you are not in the best shape, you could win a show over someone who is NOT confident but in amazing shape!!
It is all about holding yourself with poise and confidence!!
You are you for you! Be you be real, love yourself and be loved without even trying!!!
Merry Christmas to all!!!
Thanks for the reminder Gina! I was just going down that road of what to buy this person or that person. For years now I’ve just bought presents for people if I happened to think of something or see something that I knew the recipient would LOVE! Then this year for some reason I started feeling like I needed to buy something for everyone and was kind of driving myself crazy with that. Sooooooo glad you wrote this today because tonight was going to be spent doing some unnecessary online shopping. Now I can just relax and buy vitamins online instead!!! LOL!!
I will say that one thing about getting older that I truly love is that your true friends keep showing up and the others keep falling away. My true friends would rather spend time with me than get some dorky gift from me or some great gift that they know I can’t really afford. Same goes for family of course!
Thanks again Gina! Can’t wait to be on Christmas vacation!!!! Bring it on!! Woohoo!!!!! 😮
Erin- Glad you found and read this article in perfect time and glad I saved you some $$$. I love giving the type of gifts you do… presents for people when you happen to think of something or see something that I knew the recipient would LOVE and it doesn’t have to be Christmas for this. Hope you had a happy vitamin shopping and relaxing night! I am sure you did and feel much better than spending an arm and a leg on “things” just because!
True friends will always be there and those that aren’t so true will slowly disappear…
I am excited for your vacation… Are you going to keep us posted while you are away?
Of course I’ll keep you posted! I’ll try to send photos of the Winter Wonderland. It’s so amazingly beautiful to go hiking in the snow, truly a winter wonderland. I don’t know if I can send you videos but if we go sledding there are usually very humorous videos from that and I’ll definitely send some if I can!
can’t wait to see photos. Sledding, sounds like such a blast! There is something about spending the holidays in the snow, I am sure. I have never done that but one day would love to! Keep us posted!!